Valentine's Day
by lilmm
Summary: "I wanted everything to be perfect. For you. And us." Unfortunately for Blaine, his insecurities about Kurt leave perfection out of reach. Part two of the Doubts series. Can be read alone.


**I'm still not entirely happy with this, but I want to get it posted before I chicken out.**

**This is very much a reaction piece to the Kurt-Karofsky scene in Heart and can be read as a companion piece to my story "As Long As I Have You Now", though they are both completely independent of each other. **

**The short of it is that I'm afraid Chris has had his way with the writers yet again and that Kurt and Blaine may soon break up. Needless to say, I really don't want that to happen. So my brain came up with this.**

**I don't own Glee.**

* * *

><p>After the success of "The Love Shack", couples danced and partied for another two hours before management told them to leave. It turned out that Sugar Motta had an early curfew that her father had no qualms about imposing on everyone else. People throughout the restaurant grumbled at their early night, but as they left Breadstix Blaine giddily took Kurt's hand and pulled him aside.<p>

"Happy Valentine's Day, sweetie," he said for the third time that night, grinning widely and gazing at his boyfriend lovingly.

"You too."

Kurt's broad smile was slightly strained, his eyes a bit distracted as he played with the candy box in his hands. Blaine wondered what on earth could be wrong on today of all days but got distracted by Santana and Brittany giving them warm goodbyes. It was nice seeing them worry-free and happy outside the confines of the choir room for once. Santana especially had a warm glow on her face like all her wishes had just come true. Of course, as far as Blaine knew, they just had.

Curling his fingers around Kurt's as their friends drove away, Blaine resisted the urge to bounce on his heels in excitement.

"So, I've got a surprise for you."

"Really?"

"Mhmm. I've sort of had nothing else to do these past couple of weeks but plan it. I knew I had to do something special to make up for everything."

"Blaine, you didn't have to-"

"Yes, I did. Even if I hadn't been laid up I'd have to do something special for today. You deserve it."

Kurt's eyes softened and Blaine knew if they weren't in public he'd be getting one hell of a kiss right now. Maybe at some point Blaine could break Kurt of his fear of public kisses. He was already making progress on some of Kurt's other fears and hang ups.

"So," Kurt breathed, straightening his back and breaking the moment. "What's this big surprise you spent so much time on?"

"Ah. Are you okay with leaving your car here for the night? If I tell you where we're going most of the surprise will be lost."

Kurt looked intrigued and swung their hands between them. "Well then, in that case I guess you should lead on."

Blaine beamed at him and guided him to his car, opening the passenger side door and stalling Kurt from getting in long enough to tie a silk scarf around his eyes.

"Really, Blaine?"

"Yes, really. Now watch your head," he said, gently guiding Kurt into the car.

"How did you even get this scarf? I haven't worn it in months."

"That's probably because I stole it last summer."

"Theivery? And here I thought I'd hooked myself a dapper gentleman."

Blaine chuckled as he pulled out of the parking lot and turned onto some side streets in the hopes of making Kurt lose his sense of direction. The hotel he'd convinced his brother to book him a room in was only a few minutes away from Breadstix, but he didn't want Kurt to suspect anything.

"You're one to talk about thieves."

"Me?"

"Mhmm. You stole my heart months ago."

Kurt didn't say anything right away and Blaine glanced over, pleased to see a slight blush fading from Kurt's cheeks.

"You are a corny, corny man, Blaine Anderson."

"You love me."

Kurt turned his head in Blaine's direction and smiled softly. "I do."

They arrived at their destination a few minutes later and Blaine could have kicked himself for not realizing how obvious their location was the second they entered through the lobby doors. Just the smell alone was a dead giveaway.

"Are we in a hotel?" Kurt asked.

"Shh. It's supposed to be a surprise."

Kurt chuckled at him and Blaine knew he was being ridiculous, but he'd already gone this far with it. He wasn't going to stop now.

Blaine tugged on Kurt's hand and led him to the elevator, playing with his fingers the entire ride up to their floor. It wasn't perfect, but Blaine was so excited for what he had organized for tonight. They had spent far too much time apart for his liking, and he was eager to rectify that as soon as possible.

When they finally got to the right door, Blaine slid the key card through the lock and slowly led Kurt into the hotel room.

"I was actually setting it up earlier tonight. That's why it took me so long to get to Breadstix," he explained, pulling Kurt behind him by the hand and trying his best not to give anything else away. When he finally had Kurt standing just where the impact would be the greatest, Blaine turned and stopped Kurt with his hands on his shoulders.

"I wanted everything to be perfect. For you. And us."

Taking a deep breath, Blaine gently untied the scarf from around Kurt's eyes and stepped aside, his gaze intent on his boyfriend's reaction.

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt breathed.

Blaine smiled. Chocolates and strawberries were artfully arranged on the desk by the window and every surface that would support them glittered with the twinkling light of a hundred LED candles he'd spent an hour turning on and placing around the room that afternoon. Kurt looked gorgeous in their soft glow, just as Blaine knew he would.

The air smelled wonderfully aromatic. It had taken him a while to find someplace that would sell him lavender stems at this time of year, and in the end he'd settled for simply getting a couple of vases of dried lavender to set on the side tables, but they worked. He'd also changed out the hotel sheets for light purple ones he found on sale at the mall.

"It's not quite a field of lavender and I'm not Taylor Lautner, but I thought maybe it would do."

"Blaine…"

Kurt blinked swiftly and shook his head, grasping both sides of Blaine's face and pulling him in for a toe-curling kiss that knocked his hat off his head.

_Finally_.

It had been agony spending so long confined to his bed with strict admonitions against exerting himself and nothing else to do but homework. His parents' seemingly constant presence whenever Kurt came over did nothing to help matters either.

He hadn't fantasized about sex so much since he was in the closet.

"I missed you," Kurt breathed.

"I missed you too."

Blaine didn't waste any more time with words, instead pulling Kurt down into another kiss and walking them to the bed. He had missed this so much. The feel of Kurt's hands cupping his face and running down his chest, the taste of Kurt's tongue in his mouth and the way the dip in his back fit under Blaine's hands... Oh, had he missed this.

They kissed for long minutes, almost forgetting the bed behind them, but Blaine was impatient for more. Kurt's red blazer was easy to slide off his shoulders, though Kurt predictably pulled away and took it from him before he could drop it on the floor. Blaine did his best not to whine.

"I dressed up especially for you tonight," Kurt said as he draped the jacket over the back of the desk chair. "I know how much Valentine's Day means to you."

Blaine smiled good-naturedly and mentally cringed at the reminder of last year's fiasco. This year was better.

"Of course I'd hoped you'd be at Breadstix before the party started tonight. It was lonely being there without you."

"Kurt-"

"I know, I know. You were setting this up. And Blaine Anderson has to make a grand entrance, after all." He paused and played with one of the strawberries for a moment. Blaine furrowed his brows and tried to figure out what was going on. They were kissing so nicely just moments ago.

"This really is lovely," Kurt said softly. "A gay boy's dream come true."

Blaine felt worry creep into the pit of his stomach and tried to shake it off. It was Valentine's Day. Surely nothing bad could happen to him on Valentine's Day two years in a row.

Kurt sighed then turned to face him with his practiced smile, the one he used when he didn't want anyone to see how hurt he felt. Blaine hated seeing that smile.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked. "You've been acting distant off and on all night."

Kurt blinked and schooled his face better. "Nothing," he shrugged. "I just… missed you, I guess."

"No," Blaine studied him. "It's more than that. Did something happen?"

"I'm fine Blaine. It's just… been hard. Not seeing you every day. I didn't think it would hurt so much."

"Kurt…"

"Forget it," he said, drawing closer. "We're together now. That's all that matters."

"No, hey. You're upset. I want to talk about this. I don't like the idea of you hurting when I can do something about it."

"You could kiss me again. That would make me feel better."

Blaine chuckled. Oh, how he wanted to do that. But…

"I'm trying to have a conversation here, Kurt. I can't fix whatever's bothering you if I don't know what it is."

"Who said it needs fixing?" Kurt asked distantly.

"Kurt…"

"Like I said, I just... I didn't have anyone there with me this week. No one to really talk to or to help back me up with the whole Finn and Rachel wedding fiasco and…"

"And?" Blaine asked quietly, taking his hands and guiding him until they were both seated on the bed. Kurt closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"All week I've had to watch every other couple in the school get to be together and smile at each other and kiss and hold each other while all I felt was this overwhelming ache of loneliness I thought I'd never have to feel again now that we're together. And through all that the only thing that got me through was the knowledge that you were thinking of me and sending me Valentine's Day cards and stupid little presents every day."

Blaine's brows furrowed further in confusion. "Kurt, I-"

"I know it wasn't you. And now I'm hurt and confused and it isn't fair because this is everything I could have asked for," he said, gesturing around at the romantic scene. "But I just feel so betrayed that the thing that gave me hope all week, all those cards and candies and that little stuffed monkey… they weren't from you. They were from Dave."

Blaine felt the breath rush out of his chest like he'd been punched. "What?"

"Why can't I just have something normal for once?" Kurt asked quietly, silent tears running down his cheeks. "Everything always has to be complicated by some stupid drama and I just… Was it so much to ask that our first Valentine's Day as a couple actually be about us?"

"Kurt…"

Kurt pulled away from him and wrapped his arms around his stomach, ducking his head so Blaine could hardly see his face.

"I just wish it had been you."

Blaine felt like his world was collapsing. Try as he might he felt like he could never be romantic enough, worthy enough to hold on to Kurt, and to learn that he'd failed as a boyfriend when Kurt so obviously wanted – _needed_ – more from him was heart-wrenching. Especially when he was being compared to that _worm_.

"Kurt, when you say Dave-"

"I mean Karofsky. Yeah. Turns out he's got a crush on me."

That much had been obvious last year. Blaine took a deep breath and tried not to let his anger at the jock take hold of him. Kurt was more important.

"Kurt, if he's bothering you again you have to tell somebody. Your dad or-"

"I'm not telling my dad, Blaine. He didn't threaten me. He's better now. Everything's fine."

"Kurt, he assaulted you!"

"He angry kissed me. He was confused and alone and I'm over it. I've got you now."

Blaine couldn't believe what he was hearing. After all the phone calls, the distraction dinners, after _transferring schools_, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Suddenly his back felt tense and all thoughts of the evening he had planned left him. He wanted access to his punching bag.

"How can you just forgive him like that?"

"Blaine-"

"No, Kurt. I wanna know. There's no way in hell I could ever forgive the guys who beat the crap out me, and yet here you are defending the guy who systematically tormented you for months, who threw you into lockers so hard I know you had bruises on your back for weeks after you transferred to Dalton, the guy who _stole your first kiss_ and then threatened to kill you if you told anyone about it… How can you defend him now?"

"I know all that, Blaine, but he's not the same person he was last year. And neither am I for that matter."

"Yeah. That makes me feel a whole lot better."

"Why are you yelling at me for this? I'm just trying to figure out what I think about this bomb that was dropped in my lap tonight and you're attacking me! You're the one who wanted to talk about it in the first place."

Blaine shook his head, knowing even as he spoke that he was going to regret his words.

"Yeah, well, it's a little hard to be supportive when you've got the feeling your boyfriend might dump you for someone who used to – what did you say back then? That he was a Neanderthal who was making it his life's mission to make your life a living hell?"

Kurt's face crumpled up bitterly and Blaine wanted to take back everything, to hold him in his arms and sooth him with kisses and soft words of love like he'd planned to at the beginning of the night. He stood and started walking toward the door instead. He needed to get out of here for a while.

He knew all along he was going to mess this up somehow.

"Blaine. Blaine, stop it," Kurt said, standing and grabbing his shoulder to spin him back around. "I'm not leaving you for Dave. I love you. I want to be with _you_. Not Dave. I told him that. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel bitter that all the nice things I've been getting all week, that made me feel loved when I was so alone… I do feel bitter that they came from him instead of you."

Blaine closed his eyes and willed the hot tears he could feel collecting there not to fall.

He felt wrecked inside. Kurt was right. This was their first Valentine's Day together as a couple and it was supposed to be about them. But here they were fighting over another boy.

Again.

If they couldn't even trust each other when they were living in the same state, how were they going to cope with things when Kurt moved to New York next year? How were they going to survive?

"I'm sorry. I just want you to be safe," Blaine whispered.

"Honey," Kurt crooned, sliding his arms around Blaine's shoulders and pulling him close. Blaine buried his face in Kurt's neck and slid his arms around his waist, pulling him closer and pretending he would never have to let him go.

Not now. Not so soon.

"I love you," Kurt said softly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Blaine hoped Kurt couldn't feel his tears through his vest, but he knew he probably could anyway.

"I love you too. So much."

He didn't move his head from Kurt's shoulder for long moments after that. He needed to feel him, to taste him. In desperation, Blaine kissed Kurt's neck, nipping at it and pulling him impossibly closer when he sighed and tilted his head up to give Blaine better access.

"I'm never saying goodbye to you, Blaine. I still mean that."

Kurt moved a hand to gently cup Blaine's face, tilting it up so they were making eye contact. With a tender kiss to his forehead that had Blaine gasping out a sob, Kurt slowly slid Blaine's jacket off, handling him like he was something precious.

"I'm not leaving you," he whispered, tugging loose Blaine's bowtie.

Blaine looked into his eyes for a long moment and allowed himself to be undressed. He'd do anything for this boy in front of him, even believe in what he was sure they both knew was a lie.

He pulled Kurt to him by his tie for the second time that night but this time brought them into a deep kiss.

He wasn't ready to let this go.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? I promise I'm working on some fluffier stuff for the near future.<strong>


End file.
